I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Randomize
