I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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