I never want to see another naked old woman again.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
i think im in europe. pls send help
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