I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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