so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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