Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
