oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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