So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Randomize
