i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
last night I used snow as a chaser
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
