ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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