apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
