no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
you didnt know i had herpes?
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Randomize
