Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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