these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
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