im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
