hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
