she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
