who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
i just made my gag reflex go away.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize
