it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Randomize
