I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Randomize
