I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
