Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
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