yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Never joke about your clitoris.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
