when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
