you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Randomize
