escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize
