you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
