Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
