if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
