Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
