I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Randomize
