batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
