TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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