Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
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