You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
