you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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