He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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