Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
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