Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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