I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
