I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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