did you get engaged???
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
