dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Randomize
