Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Randomize
