pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Randomize
