the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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