That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
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