haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
