I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Randomize
