the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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