I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
